Welcome To My World

Hello and welcome to my blog, “Down In Front”. The reason for the title of the blog should become apparent soon.
The first thing you should know is that I don’t usually get farther on the internet than “to see the entire video enter your credit card number”. But I’ve come to realize that the internet is more than a place to almost download porn. It can also be the 21st century version of a Texas clock tower...a place to let off a little steam. So I’ve decided to climb the internet and with a keyboard and two fingers start blogging at passing strangers.
Why now, you ask? (I have to say I’m impressed with your thirst for knowledge.) The short answer is “none of your business” but I think that would make for a dull blog. The longer answer is that my girlfriend of two years, who I'll call Miss Ex, left me.
Now I’ve been rejected by women before... and colleges, employers, credit card companies (amongst others), but never by someone I loved (That thing with the computerized MasterCard voice was only a crush). Anyway, that’s not the worst part. She’s an actress, I’m a playwright. She just got a part on Broadway, I’m still tending bar...wait it gets worse. I tend bar in a Broadway theater and...wait for it...she’s in the show that’s coming into my theater. What are the odds, right? My friend Bennett (not his real name) who sells souvenirs at the theater says I should play the lottery the day of the first performance, I think I should stay out of electrical storms.
So while she’s going to be up on stage dancing her pretty little feet off I’ll be working the front of the house (that’s what they call ushers, bartenders, souvenirs sellers etc...) in the lobby one flight down from her (Ed. Note-this should be when the blog’s title comes into focus).
A Broadway theater bears a strong resemblance to a carnival freak show. Usually I’m just a curious onlooker but now I think I’ve turned into one of the people hammering nails up his nose. It should be interesting. I’ll keep you posted.

The Interview

He just sat there staring at me with the cold, lifeless eyes of a frozen dead guy...kind of like Walt Disney eyes. Maybe that’s why “Some Day My Prince Will Come” kept running through my head the whole meeting although it might have been because Bennett was humming it the entire time. In hindsight it was probably a little unprofessional of me to bring Bennett along but give me a break, it was my first time. I had no idea how to behave and Bennett’s an expert on having no idea how to behave so I figured...

Anyway, I’ve never even met a head hunter before let alone had an interview with one but when he called me I thought what the hell. I’ll be honest though, part of me was hoping to see a giant pot full of boiling water with the Three Stooges in it when I walked in.

As usual, I was disappointed. I think he was too. He didn’t seem very impressed by our meeting. I probably should have said something unrelated to Bernadette Peters but I couldn’t think of anything. Besides he asked all the good questions. “Where do I see myself in 5 years?”, “what would I bring to a potential working relationship?”. Man, that guy could ask some serious interview questions. I can’t believe he’s been out of work for sixteen months. I guess the head hunting field has been hit as hard as the housing market.

Anyway, I couldn’t offer him a bartending job at the theater. He didn’t have any relevant experience. Wow, I never thought I would hear myself type those words in the same sentence “relevant” and “bartending job at the theater” and I’m pretty sure Bennett is pissed at me. I explained to him that it wasn’t that kind of head that the guy hunted and he says he believes me and he’s not mad but he is. I can tell. Sure, he’s still humming “Some Day My Prince Will Come” but now he’s doing it really sarcastically.