The Interview

He just sat there staring at me with the cold, lifeless eyes of a frozen dead guy...kind of like Walt Disney eyes. Maybe that’s why “Some Day My Prince Will Come” kept running through my head the whole meeting although it might have been because Bennett was humming it the entire time. In hindsight it was probably a little unprofessional of me to bring Bennett along but give me a break, it was my first time. I had no idea how to behave and Bennett’s an expert on having no idea how to behave so I figured...

Anyway, I’ve never even met a head hunter before let alone had an interview with one but when he called me I thought what the hell. I’ll be honest though, part of me was hoping to see a giant pot full of boiling water with the Three Stooges in it when I walked in.

As usual, I was disappointed. I think he was too. He didn’t seem very impressed by our meeting. I probably should have said something unrelated to Bernadette Peters but I couldn’t think of anything. Besides he asked all the good questions. “Where do I see myself in 5 years?”, “what would I bring to a potential working relationship?”. Man, that guy could ask some serious interview questions. I can’t believe he’s been out of work for sixteen months. I guess the head hunting field has been hit as hard as the housing market.

Anyway, I couldn’t offer him a bartending job at the theater. He didn’t have any relevant experience. Wow, I never thought I would hear myself type those words in the same sentence “relevant” and “bartending job at the theater” and I’m pretty sure Bennett is pissed at me. I explained to him that it wasn’t that kind of head that the guy hunted and he says he believes me and he’s not mad but he is. I can tell. Sure, he’s still humming “Some Day My Prince Will Come” but now he’s doing it really sarcastically.