1) What time is it?
Very common question, huge range of possible answers which seem to change by the second.
2) Does this look infected to you?
Not really that frequently asked. More of a shout out to the great Sid Caesar.
3) Who is Sid Caesar?
Again, not frequently asked but it is an occasional answer on "Jeopardy". If you are asking seriously then shame on you.
4) Isn't it ironic?
Almost invariably the answer is "no". I don't care what Alanis Morissette says it's usually just coincidence.
5) Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Usually the answer is neither and if you do frequently ask this question you have more issues than I can deal with here.
6) Do you have anything hard that I can suck on?
This really is frequently asked at the theater bars, almost always by girls in their early (illegal) teens and mostly, I assume, in reference to hard candy. Whatever you do, play this one straight. Screwing around with this question can be more dangerous than joking about bombs in an airport.
7) How long have you been tending bar on Broadway?
That's like asking a guy if he has stopped beating his wife. There's no answer that doesn't bring shame on the answerer.
8) Is tending bar on Broadway as glamorous as they say?
I don't know who "they" are but I bet "they" also told you there's a big inheritance waiting for you in Nigeria.
9) What is Broadway really like?
Think of Broadway as the modern day "Love Boat". Old sit-com stars and reality show rejects are trotted out and put through their paces in hopes of attracting as many Midwesterners as possible. That's not a criticism. It made Aaron Spelling a lot of money and it's making someone on Broadway a lot of money now. So please, just think of me as the 21st century "Isaac the bartender"
10) Why do you only have 9 FAQs instead of a more standard 10?
Interesting question. You see...hey, wait a minute...
